Ten minutes later, he went out to the car to see how she was doing. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were about to be consigned either to heaven or hell. They had to walk up one hundred stairs but on each stair God told a joke, and if they laughed they went to hell.
The brunette got as far as the 39th stair when she laughed and was sent straight to hell. The redhead reached the 81st stair when she, too, laughed and was sent to hell. The blonde got all the way to heaven but then she suddenly burst out laughing. Back in the old days in Texas, three people were travelling in a stagecoach: a true redblooded born-and-raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city slicker from back east, and an elegant Texas lady.
No tenderfoot from back east is gonna raise the price of a woman in Texas! Then he started jacking off. Soon another girl did the same thing. Confused, he kept walking. One of them has scratched out the phone number. A guy went into a whorehouse and said he wanted the best blow job money could buy.
A few minutes later, the hooker came in and proceeded to suck him off. Afterwards, she reached under the bed, pulled out a jar and spat in it. The hooker happily gave him another blow job. Afterwards, she again pulled out the jar and spat in it. Intrigued, he asked her what the jar was for. Whoever fills up their jar first gets to drink them both.
Two high school sweethearts promised to stay together forever but, when they went to different colleges hundreds of miles apart, her interest began to cool. When he phoned her, she was never around: if he wrote love letters to her, she would take weeks to reply: even his urgent e-mails did not warrant an immediate response.
Eventually she confessed that she wanted to see other guys. He took the news badly, and increased the number of calls, letters, and e-mails in an attempt to win her back. She felt harassed by this unwanted bombardment and, to convince him that it was time to move on, she took drastic action: she sent him a Polaroid of her giving her new boyfriend a blow job.
A salesman was on business in Las Vegas. One evening he got chatting to a woman in a bar and eventually realised that she was a hooker. Try to be more positive. No, I only hack from my work computer. The combination is the same as his birthdate. Sure, I banged his wife at the Christmas party. I only forge his name on the important stuff. And so there I was, his daughter was on her knees. An old man was sitting on a beach when he spotted a beautiful young girl in a bikini. Get away from me before I call the police!
Go away NOW! Oh, my God! The next day, she bumped into a man in the grocery store, and when he begged her pardon, another inch was added to her breasts. She was in seventh heaven. A woman wanted to have surgery to make her breasts bigger. Her husband was all in favour of the idea, but baulked at the cost. Her grandmother went mad. You gotta let your rosebuds show! The next day the teenager came downstairs to find her granny sitting there with no top on.
A flat-chested woman went shopping for a new bra. She was just about to give up when she stumbled across a small lingerie shop that was run by an elderly deaf lady. What is it you want? After a few weeks, God called on her in the Garden of Eden to make sure that she was having a good time. I reckon two breasts would be enough. Is there anything you can do? You see, all the animals in the garden have a mate, but I have nobody. Is there any chance that you can create a mate for me? You do need a mate. I will create Man from a part of your body.
Now, let me see. Where did I put that useless tit? Bush was invited to tea with the Queen. He asked her what her leadership philosophy was and she said that it was to surround herself with intelligent people. He asked her how she tested intelligence. Who is it? Rumsfeld immediately called a meeting of his senior advisers but, after poring over the puzzle for several hours, they were unable to come up with an answer. In desperation he rang Colin Powell and explained his problem. I know who it is! Bush was visiting a fourth grade class at an elementary school. Bush create 14 million new jobs?
George W. Bush was visiting famous Washington landmarks for inspiration. What do they really want? Bush was waiting in an airport lobby when he noticed a man in a long white flowing robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm. Bush keep his fly open? A stranger walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as George W. Bush appeared on television. This time, a customer from the other end of the bar stood up, marched over to the stranger and shoved him off his stool.
Bush went to a primary school to talk about the war in Iraq. At the end of his talk, he asked whether there were any questions. One little boy put up his hand. What is your question, Billy? Second, why were you elected President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Bush informed the children that they would continue the session after the break. When they resumed. Who has a question? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the bell for break go twenty minutes early?
Fifth, what happened to Billy? Bush went to the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side. I thought everybody had two sides to their brain? They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most of the people on this planet are incredibly stupid. Take us back to where we started, please. People are idiots wherever you go! And boy, was that cabbie ever stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth.
He should have realized you could have called home instead. One day she was driving along when a van pulled out in front of her, causing her to brake sharply. And the radio switched automatically to George W. Bush and his driver were passing a farm when a pig suddenly jumped out into the road. He went to the farm to explain what had happened, and emerged five minutes later clutching a beer, a cigar and a stack of money.
Seeing this. Bush and Tony Blair were sitting in a bar when another guest arrived and asked them what they were talking about. No one is going to ask about the Muslims. Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros. Your favourite TV show is interrupted by a police chase. You drive to any destination more than five minutes away on foot. Your co-worker says she has eight body piercings. You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow or Destiny. A really great parking space can move you to tears. Your best friends just named their twins after her acting coach and his personal trainer.
How many Los Angeles Police Department officers does it take to beat the hell out of a gang member? An LA cop pulled over a car being driven by two black guys. No sooner had the driver wound down his window than the cop hit him across the face with his flashlight. Got it? The officer checked the details before returning them to the driver. Just as the driver was about to wind up his window, the cop hit him again. The cop then walked around to the passenger side and tapped on the window. When the passenger rolled down his window, the cop hit him over the head.
Two little girls — Chelsea and Harley — were in the lunchroom of a Beverly Hills elementary school. Just missed it by half an hour! One guy was thrown through the windscreen and his buddy was sent hurtling down an embankment. The first was charged with breaking and entering, and the second was charged with leaving the scene of an accident.
He had been travelling so long that he felt an urgent need to have sex. Since there were no women in the desert, he turned to his camel and tried to position himself to have sex with the animal, but the camel ran off. The man ran as fast as he could in the blistering heat to catch the camel, climbed back on and they set off on their journey again.
Soon the urge to have sex returned, so again he turned to his camel but the horrified beast ran off once more. He managed to catch it and together they continued their trek through the desert. Finally at the end of the vast wilderness, they came to a road and there in a broken down car were three beautiful, busty young blondes. The sex-starved man went over and asked the women if they needed any help.
Then you take a big rock in each hand and smack his testicles between the rocks. CANADIANS Two guys who were best friends had both recently got divorced and the experience had left them so bitter that they vowed never to have anything to do with women again. To start a new life away from women, they decided to move up to the far north of Canada. Two Canadian men were sitting around the house bored. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work. You own five pairs of hockey skates and only one pair of shoes.
You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightdress with only eight buttons. You think driving is better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow. You have ten favourite recipes for moose meat.
- There Is Nothing Poetic About Fish.
- Selected Poems!
- Preparing for War.
- O’Brien Books.
A guy was driving along the highway towards Edmonton when he spotted a pretty girl standing by the side of the road. As the driver slowed down to offer her a lift, a huge Canadian suddenly stepped out into the middle of the road and dragged him from the car. So for the third time the guy set about jerking himself off. He could just see the pretty girl beyond the car, but it took him twenty-five minutes to come, at the end of which he collapsed exhausted into the dirt. The Canadian immediately hauled him to his feet. A young couple headed up to the wilds of Canada for a romantic weekend.
The guy went off to chop wood but returned after twenty minutes, complaining that his hands were cold. A few minutes later he was back again, complaining that his hands were cold. Once more, she let him warm them between her thighs before he resumed his work in the forest. Five minutes later, he returned again. In Canada there are only two seasons — six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.
Seeing two dogs mating, an embarrassed Canadian teacher tried to explain it to her young students. What do you call a Canadian who moves to America and becomes an international celebrity through movies, music or sport? At the site of a plane crash deep in a wooded valley, the lone survivor sat chewing on a bone. As he tossed it onto a huge pile of bones, the rescue team arrived.
Instead their eyes were fixed in horror at the pile of human bones beside this solitary survivor. It was clear that he had eaten all his fellow passengers. I had to eat. Is it so wrong to want to live? For six months there were no problems, but then their boss called them into his office and told them that an office cleaner had gone missing. As obvious suspects, the cannibals were sacked on the spot. Two missionaries were captured by a tribe of cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, lit a huge fire beneath it, and left them to boil. After a few minutes, one of the missionaries began to laugh uncontrollably.
What could possibly be funny at a time like this? CATS You are putting up shelves. Told that he was being transferred to Chicago, a Seattle office worker said he would rather quit his job than move there. I myself worked in Chicago for ten years, and in all that time I never had a problem with crime. She was a saint on earth. She went to church every single morning, spent her days reading and quoting the scriptures, sang hymns and psalms all evening, filled our house with religious statues and paintings, and invited priests and nuns to dinner three times a week.
Put that ice cream away, and go and play. What do you want to play? You go upstairs and lie on the bed. The birthday boy was so rich that he had his own swimming pool and all the kids went in. A young boy came home from school with a sofa slung across his back and carrying two armchairs. Meanwhile downstairs the mother, while preparing the turkey, also cut herself. Once again the kid asked what the word meant, and the mother pretended that it was her word for stuffing the turkey.
Moments later, the doorbell rang. A woman saw a small boy leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette and taking swigs from a bottle of scotch. When the young man entered the bedroom, he saw the little boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking he was in prayer, he decided to follow his example and knelt at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
After sex, he suddenly ran to the window, took a deep breath, dived under the bed, climbed out the other side and started screwing her again. This happened four times. During the fifth encore, the hooker was so impressed by his stamina that she decided to try his routine for herself.
So when he had finished, she ran to the window, took a deep breath, dived under the bed. A garbage collector was going along the street emptying the wheelie bins. Eventually a Chinese man answered the door breathlessly. What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A Chinese man had three daughters. He asked the eldest daughter what kind of man she wanted to marry. The evening went so well that at the end of it, much to her surprise, the client asked her to marry him. So she tried to think of a way of dissuading the little man from wanting to marry her. First, I want my engagement ring to have a huge diamond with a matching diamond tiara.
I buy. And as a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of champagne country in France. I build. Finally, shaking his head in despair, he said to the woman. I cut. At the end of the day, the boss returned to check on their work. Santa then went through his books to make sure they were right up to date, for he knew that the examiner would be extremely thorough. On arrival, the examiner walked slowly around the sleigh. Santa got in to the sleigh, fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness, and checked the compass.
All the reindeer were in position. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on either side of the bed. The preacher gripped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared silently at the ceiling. Both the banker and the lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher should ask them to be with him during his final moments. But they were also puzzled. For the preacher had never previously given any indication that he particularly liked either of them.
Indeed they remembered how his many long sermons about greed made them squirm uncomfortably in their seats. It was such a damn fine sermon! I cannot have you behaving this way in church. Did you hear about the guy who told jokes about religion? A man was hit by a bus in a busy street in New York City. As he lay dying on the sidewalk, a crowd of onlookers gathered around.
Then out of the crowd stepped an elderly man. Avenue, and every night I listen to the Catholic litany.
So maybe I can be of some comfort to this man. The old man. Nobody has ever been hanged, tortured, or burned at the stake over his particular brand of beer. No one will kill you for not drinking beer. Beer does not tell you when or how to have sex. You can prove you have a beer. You can switch your brand of beer whenever you want without losing your beerdrinking friends. If you have devoted your entire life to beer, there are groups you can join to help you stop.
A Southern Baptist minister was addressing his congregation. I am a sad man because a member of this church has been spreading the word that I am a member of the Ku Klux Klan. That person has not had the courage to speak this falsehood to my face, so I call upon them to stand up now before you all and tell me why they have been peddling such malicious lies. How could you say such things about me?
All I did was tell my friend you were a wizard beneath the sheets! Whatever word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes into your head. Everyone was in shock. They all shifted uncomfortably in their seats, glancing at each other, afraid to say anything. When he arrived there, the Devil greeted him and offered him three ways to spend eternity. At the first door the Devil showed him Newt Gingrich, hanging from the ceiling with fire raging beneath him. So they moved on to the third door. Behind it was Ken Starr, chained to the wall with Monica Lewinsky on her knees giving him a blow job.
Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican? In an ambassadorial role, former President Clinton met the Pope for an international summit. Their meeting was supposed to last for an hour, but instead it went on for two days. Looking tired and dismayed, he declared that the meeting with the former President had been a. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the River Jordan, looking across at the Promised Land. You will sink only in accordance with your sins on Earth. The more you have sinned, the deeper into the water you will sink.
Fearing that his sins were catching up with him, he inched precariously across the river but, against all the odds, he managed to reach the other side. As he did so, he turned around to see how the others were doing. You must promise never to look in it. Hillary intended keeping quiet about her discovery, but eventually she came clean and confessed to looking in the box.
After thirty years of living in suspense, I simply had to know what was in the box. But tell me, Bill, why do you keep empty beer cans in there? Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again. Spit out your gum — I want to play President. The three worked long and hard in a brainstorming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment because they were aware that it should have the same majesty and dignity as the other ten. Bill is going to die a horrible death.
Will I be acquitted? What bad things have you done in your life? The bad news is it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles. Although only too aware that an important part of himself was missing, he resolved to make a fresh start and, spotting a clothes shop, decided to go in. Tom tried on the suit. It fitted perfectly.
Why not? How did you know? Tom tried on the shirt and it fitted perfectly. Tom tried on the shoes and they fitted perfectly. I got you! A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache. With a strong wind gusting down the street, a police officer noticed an old woman standing on a corner holding on tightly to her hat while her skirt blew up to her waist. But this hat is brand new!
Why do ballerinas wear tights? Called to testify before the IRS, a man asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. Why was the two-piece bikini invented? An attractive woman was browsing in an exclusive New York shoe store when a pair of boots caught her eye. Absolutely fantastic. On holiday in Morocco, a couple were accosted by a street trader selling footwear. When the husband began admiring a pair of sandals, the trader unleashed his full sales pitch, telling the man that he would become a sex god if he wore them.
Naturally the man was sceptical. So the man put on the sandals, and was immediately overcome with intense feelings of sexual desire. But instead of lusting after women, he suddenly fancied the Moroccan and, with a wild look in his eyes, rushed at the startled trader. Thank you. I came home early last night and found it hanging over a chair in the bedroom. A young man bought a new pair of boots, of which he was very proud.
He decided to show them off at his favourite nightclub. Then he danced again. While there, he was horrified to see a man wearing an Auburn University jersey struggling to free himself from the jaws of a twelve-foot long shark. At that precise moment, a boat containing three men wearing University of Alabama T-shirts roared into view. The other two reached out and pulled the Auburn fan from the water and, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death.
They then bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the boat along with the dead shark and ferried them to their waiting truck. As they made the transfer to dry land, they heard the senator shouting to them. The senator heaped lavish praise upon the rescuers.
I can see now that your state is an enlightened example of true harmony and could serve as a role model for others with internal feuds. With that, they drove off in a cloud of dust. Six college students fell out of a city bar and crowded into a Jeep for the ride back to campus. A Harvard graduate died and went to hell. Inside, guys were being buggered senseless by men in masks while other acts of depravity were taking place in dark corners. And everyone was wearing Harvard colours. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down.
You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down. Well, I am getting along fine now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty much healed now. I only spent ten days in intensive care, and now I can see almost. Fortunately the fire in the dorm and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me in hospital and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he kindly invited me to share his apartment.
Anyway he is a fine boy, and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love, devotion and tender care you gave me as a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and carelessly I caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am taking daily.
I know you will welcome him into the family with open arms. He is kind and although not well-educated, has ambitions. His family background is good, too, for I hear that his father is an important gun-bearer in the African village from which he comes. Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire.
I do not have concussion or a skull fracture, I was not in hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have syphilis and there is no coloured man in my life. Your loving daughter,. Eighteen months ago a man upgraded to Girlfriend 1. However, apparently there are conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1. To make matters worse. Girlfriend 1. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-program, Party Girl 2.
Eventually he tried to run Girlfriend 1. He did this largely because, whilst Wife 1. However he discovered that Wife 1. For example, any mistakes he made were automatically stored in Wife 1. They then resurfaced months later. Wife 1. These latter products have no helpfiles and he has to try and guess the problem himself.
Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1. Also, Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every other week. It also conflicted with some of the new games he wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1. If Wife 1. So does anyone have any suggestions? A brave and beautiful occult expert comes to a lonely town and finds a Penitentes-style devil-cult This movie is actually a time travel movie.
Set in , Uys meets a mysterious man who feeds him a potion causing him to fall asleep and hurtle years through time. He awakens, un-aged, in —a strange, unfamiliar, modern world. A rocket lifts off for the moon. The rocket containing lots of atomic matter smashes into an asteroid, which in turn shatters into an avalanche of deadly rocks and space debris A stake is pulled from her rotted corpse.
A mad scientist develops explosive pills more powerful than A-bombs! He shocks the world by vaporizing a Pacific island! Plans of world conquest are thwarted though, when the pills fall into the hands of two wacky GIs The last heir to the Draculas who is pregnant arrives at the castle of the infamous Count.
He makes his money beating up his foes in the ring. He lives in fear, though, of his fraternity pals finding out about his humble beginnings and his shady profession. A pretty amazing movie. A hypnotist is murdered in his dressing room! His ventriloquist dummy seemingly watches the crime being committed. A boxer and part-time delivery boy is blamed for the crime.
Soon another murder occurs! Was the killer human…or was it the dummy? A cool Edgar Wallace chiller Travers is a society dame who is kidnapped by two small-time thugs. LaRue gives the best portrayal of his life as a bigtime gangster who owns the Black Dice Club, a classy spot filled with rich suckers, showgirls, and illicit types. In this superb film noir gem, Ross and Howard play young men who join the police force. Ross succeeds; Howard fails. Howard ends up on the wrong side of the law when he falls in with a shady nightclub owner, brilliantly played by Reed A great Euro-horror thriller about a psychic countess and mad scientist Things go terribly wrong in a research lab on an isolated British island and a new breed of bone-devouring monsters is created.
A reckless scientist decides to use himself as a guinea pig in his experiments Calhoun plays a tough American spy on the run in Nazi-occupied Italy. On board is an East German stowaway Our black-masked atomic super hero takes on a gang of thugs who are conspiring to steal a formula for a neutron explosive. Our favorite south-of-the-border super hero, Neutron, locks horns again with the insane Dr. Entertaining exploitation schlocker about an ex-detective who digs up dirt for a Hollywood scandal sheet Scientist Rey takes a young but crazed woman and transforms her disfigured face into a thing of beauty.
A man shows up at the sinister home of his dead uncle to claim his inheritance This schlockumentary explores haunted houses, ghosts, UFOs, etc. An atmospheric retelling of the rise and fall of Rasputin, whose seemingly supernatural powers made the czarina his hypnotic slave However, the ship is guarded by the vengeful spirit of an ancient princess. A beautiful woman purchases an ancient statue.
In a shocking scene, it comes to life and rapes her. She then becomes possessed and is taken to a convent where an exorcism priest is brought in to free her Vance owns a clinic for the mentally ill located in a gloomy forest. An Old West horror film about a female vampire who has a passion for unsuspecting cowboys and soon takes revenge on the four thugs who murdered her husband in cold blood But as his wife is dying, she confesses that their daughter has a twin hidden away to avoid giving her to the Minotaur.
In ancient Japan, a good lord is killed and his throne is taken by a treacherous lord and his sorcerer. Years later, an epic battle ensues between the prince and the sorcerer. A young historian is brought to a magnificent palatial estate to assemble the largely erotic memoirs of a deceased general. There he falls in love with a beautiful witch An alien mastermind has picked Earth for annihilation. Earth sends a fleet of starships to fight against the super robots from this far-off galaxy. Lots of pitched space battles with plenty of action.
A lost spaceship lands on a mysterious planet filled with rampaging prehistoric monsters. The crew members have to stave off these giant lizards until they are rescued Constantine and Addams hatch a plot to recover a parcel of priceless jewels from behind the iron curtain. Lots of tense moments as they break through security lines. Mitchell is a tycoon whose son is kidnapped. Mitchell, though, takes matters into his own hands. A down-on-his luck artist gets more than he bargained for in a failed robbery attempt—an eye gouged out with a spoon!
With his eye hanging out and dangling by the nerve, he screams into the night! He then goes nuts and turns to killing women and cutting their eyes out. Three couples spend the night in a creepy Victorian house in order to claim their inheritance. Before long, they start dying horribly at the hand of a knife-and-pitchfork-wielding psycho who wants their inheritance Reed is a carnival boxer who falls under her spell and ends up hideously scarred from her jagged fingernails.
Soon, young men turn up slain. He is bestowed three wishes. His first wish is to be debt-free. The next wish is for the son to be returned to life—but the price is truly horrible John, Alexander Knox. Lee, tormented by bizarre, murderous dreams about a woman from his past, eventually transforms into a Jekyll and Hyde type with an urge to kill. Knox is the psychological counsellor who tries who suspects something's amiss. At the same time, a killer turns out to be the reincarnation of the prince! Fleming Is the who tries to figure it all out—and solve some murders to boot!
The survivor of a car wreck is haunted by a ghostly personage. Who is he, and why is he following her? Seldom have the elements of sight and sound come together in such an eerie, chilling way. Lon plays Satan in this trio of horror stories. He sends his 'messenger' back to Earth with a formula for a megaton nuclear bomb so that everybody can join him in hell An excellent horror film about a writer who spends the night in a sinister castle.
Classic fantasy. Hercules searches Hades for a magic stone. This is another of Roger Corman's horror comedies. A fake sea monster, blamed for many deaths, turns out to be real. Morland and Carbone are perfect in their roles Betsy is as cute as a bug. A strange man comes to claim his inheritance in a small desert town and brings along with him satanic rites, evil spells and death!
He also has occasion to change himself into various wild animals when killing off his enemies A lonely sailor on leave becomes fascinated with a sideshow mermaid girl. He faces a horrifying, growing awareness that she may actually be a real mermaid that habitually kills during the cycle of the full moon. Two nations race to have the first landing on Mars. Some great outer space scenes with really hilarious-looking monsters doing battle against each other A top-of-the-line drive-in classic.
Carlson plays a husband-to-be who's haunted by the ghost of his large breasted ex-girlfriend whom he allowed to fall to her death from atop a lighthouse. A dead murderer's hands are grafted to a pianist who has lost his own hands in an accident Pure sci-fi with excellent Cinematography. An enjoyable, underrated sci-fi 'B' opus about an astronaut who's stranded on an invisible.
The ghost of a young girl takes revenge on the villagers who caused her death. Anita inherits a castle but finds it infested with vampires! Well done, low budget sci-fi. Gangsters hiding in a mountain cabin are killed off by a horrible. Suspicion falls upon a new teacher after a horrible, animal-like slaying takes place. Is he really the murdering, supernatural beast? A secret society seems to be bumping off a large number of notorious criminals. There's also a mad scientist who decapitates his victims and tries to keep their heads alive One of the best low budget, psycho-horror movies ever made.
Ax murders galore in this terrific film about a mad killer loose in a small New England town. Ludicrous sleazy schlock at its absolute best. A severed head, a mad scientist, a gross looking monster, two battling strippers A horrible fiend is on the loose under the streets of Venice. He pulls beautiful girls down into murky canals that catacomb the sewers of the ancient Italian city. Villagers hunt down and drown an 18th century witch.
Centuries later, Barb and her hubby vacation in the area. Their car crashes into the lake at the very spot that the witch was killed A topless, beautiful white jungle girl is discovered in the wilds of Africa living with a native tribe. The weird story of an evil scientist who creates a beautiful femme fatale via artificial insemination Terrific fun as an escaped bank robber is subjected to an atomic ray machine that renders him invisible. A jet pilot from the 20th century breaks through a time barrier. The setting is a sinister castle. Lee is a sadistic noble who whips the wife of his brother.
Chris is later found dead, but his ghost comes back to haunt the castle. Lee is Count Karnstein, living with his daughter in a crumbling castle. Decades earlier, a witch put a death curse on their family. Hidden in cages are other zombies whose faces have been disfigured with acid by the gypsy and her hunchback. Also on the loose is his loony tunes brother and his ax-wielding buddies A beautiful lady finds herself completely terrified inside a crumbling castle.
A troupe of entertainers finds themselves in peril as guests in Lee's mysterious old castle.
Ken breaks up a train heist, saving a girl from bandits. But the robbery was all an act, put on as an exciting welcome for the girl. An assistant DA botches an insurance racket trial against his brother. He resigns, but goes to work for a private firm in order to bring his brother to justice. When the brother is murdered, he sets out after the killers So it appears they added a narrator to purposely make fun of the movie in a way that would bring in audiences.
Hilarious schlock about a couple of teenagers who tangle with an actual caveman living in the desert. Junior saves the day when Manning is kidnapped by the beast. He rescues her and after they escape from caveman's desert cave This is a quintet of five different chilling tales.
In the dark hours after an old bookshop closes, the portraits of the Devil, a S. And when her hubby ends up dead, he finds himself the target of a blackmail scheme After witnessing an accidental death, a priest goes on a spiritual retreat where he encounters his alien look-a-like! This alien has plans We now offer the original minute French language version of this classic sci-fi film, complete with English subtitles. A massive comet approaches Earth. It narrowly misses our planet, but causes enormous upheaval, including massive rioting and a. Erik Mitchell sails into danger in the New World.
He is betrayed by a trusted warrior pal who murders his Greek navigator. He then. James plays an Italian racketeer on the run in London. He runs into a scoop-seeking, hard-drinking reporter. The coppers are soon onto them A satanic cult is on the loose in the English countryside. They stage a series of gruesome crimes that baffle the local authorities. The story centers around a young lady; who unknowingly takes part in a satanic rite and becomes possessed by the spirit of her late father.
It is the days after the death of Constantine. The empire has split into East and West. Bigotry again. Silva plays a tough police inspector in this Euro-crime thriller. A gang of thieves has killed his son. He then sets himself up as a plastic surgeon, although he is completely unqualified.
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